im a fat cow.

so i got hungry last night.
oh god did i get hungry.
double bacon cheeseburger on texas toast, grilled onions, a large french fry with ketchup, and a 44 oz diet coke.
i ate it all, even though i wasnt really hungry after about the first 4 bites.
i ate and ate and ate and ate and kept eating.
and there was absoloutely no purge afterwards.
my stomach is bloated and uncomfortable even the next day.
but the good news is i probably wont be hungry for anything all day today.
still havent gotten a chance to talk to dylon. dont know what im going to do.
to answer Jenna's question, not me anymore, but it used to be.
and what i will be again.
right now im a fat disgusting cow.
will update later.
mwuah!
xoxoxo
amybear

life in general...

start my new job tomorrow
im a waitress at a diner-type place
the owner only hires pretty girls, the whole town knows that.
while i was there today for my orientation, an old friend of mine who is...bigger, we'll call her "s"
came in, shes around 300 lbs, and has wierd colored hair and a tongue ring. i hate her now, but there was a time when we were very close. she looks at me, looks at the owner and asks "can i apply for a job?"
you know what the guy said?
no!!!
makes me feel pretty good to know that i guess im considered "pretty"
i start work tomorrow.
started a 24 hour fast at 8 this morning, if all goes well, i might extend it to 48 hours, this is my first fast, so im trying to take it slow.
anyway, i have to go shopping for work pants tonight, not excited, i hate shopping for clothes.
im nervous about my new job.
scared that my mom will want to celebrate my new job with some kind of dinner, will eat very little if i have to eat at all.
i feel like a cow.
and im nervous about work tomorrow.
wish me luck!!!