Friday, December 14, 2012

This Be The LAST Pain I Suffer

So in September D's "stepsister"came to see us for her 21st birthday and I went through all of this trouble to make her feel welcome in my home and try to be nice to her. She spent all of this time doing absoloutely nothing but talking about herself, all of this new make up she bought, her upcoming trip to las vegas, her, her, her, her until i was ready to shoot myself. Finally about eleven i decided it was time to turn in because i had work early the next morning.

 I have to admit that i was suspicious even before i went to sleep that night, leaving my boyfriend and this non-blood related female alone with a cooler full of beer. This was his chance to prove to me that he could be trusted.

About four in the morning i was woken up by the sound of my front door slamming and someone saying "I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette" I waited and waited and waited and didnt hear anything, no talking or noises on the front porch, where we smoke. so i decided to go investigate.

No one was in the house. No one was on the front porch. I sat and smoked a cigarette...and still didnt see anyone.

Where was everyone?

I went inside and walked through the house to the back door, which looks out onto the driveway.
I turned on the back porch light and walked out toward D's truck in the driveway. I heard D yell "Not Good,  Not Good!" as he saw me walking up toward the truck.
And guess who i found all twisted up together in the front seat?

D was trying to zip up his pants, and That Stupid Cunt was trying to cover up the fact that she didn't have any pants on. Both were so drunk that they could barely stand up from all of the swaying and wobbling they were doing. Neither could look me in the eye.

My heart was completely shattered. It felt like he had ripped it from my chest and stomped it into tiny specks of dust on the driveway.

How could this person, to whom i'd given my heart and dedicated my entire life, betray me like this? What about all of the times he'd sworn to be good to me and treat me right? What about the life we'd created together in this new house? Didn't any of that matter?

When i tried to ask her who the hell she thought she was, coming to my house and fucking my boyfriend behind my back like some order-by-the-hour whore, she took an ill-aimed swing at my face. So i proceeded to wrap my hand in her nappy ass hair and throw all two hundred and fifty pounds of her disgusting body to the ground. i punched her a couple of times and slapped the shit out of her. I don't even really remember what else happened between the last minutes of our altercation and when she ran off crying. From what i heard she threw up all over herself and passed out in a ditch.

Yes, every word of this story is true. It's more than three months later and i still think about it every day. We are working on my trust issues and rebuilding our relationship. I thought getting married would fix everything. But have since decided that it would be smarter to wait a while. So the wedding plans have been postponed for now. I still love him. I know it sounds stupid. but i really, in my heart, feel like he is a good guy who made a completely retarded drunken mistake.

I will continue to work on trusting D. I have been hurting a lot these last few months. Things in my head have flip-flopped and have been turned all inside out and backwards.

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