I know that it's been a long time since i've posted. most of my followers have left blogger by now anyway. i'm thinking i might start over again, completely revamp, let go of the past. I have to get past all of the issues and get my self confidence back.
I need a change. to commit to bettering myself. i just dont think i've taken it as seriously as i might should have. I'm in a hole.
Things have been even harder since I caught Dennis cheating on me in September. That killed any self confidence i may have had.
I still love my page, I just think i should maybe...change it up a little.
I guess if i want people to read i should post every once in a while, eh?
To all of you that are still reading i'd really like to thank you for your support and feedback. I know that here recently it's been a lot of whining and complaining.
I got my grades back for the semester today, an A in psychology and a B in Algebra. I'm switching to full time for the next semester so i'm really hoping it won't be overload with my job and taking care of my house and family.
I'm excited to grow and change and mature. I'm really looking forward to starting a career in the chemical plant and getting benefits.
I'm planning a wedding and i cant wait to start my own family. Life seems like it should be perfect, but it's just the fact that i cant look myself in the mirror that keeps me from being as happy as i should be.
I'm just ready to show Dennis that the girl that he met three years ago is still here, and that she still loves him even if she is broken and lost somewhere inside of this...thing that i've become.
this isn't me. I'm so scared that I'm going to let this hold me back from being the person i know that i can become. It's a terrifying thought, that i'm going to be stuck in this...fat suit that i've put on.
I don't want to be trapped here.