Tuesday, October 21, 2008

growing up is hard to do.

things are getting a lot more serious with dylon.
last night we were on the phone, and i was talking and we were both laughing and giggling. and all of a sudden he got all quiet...
i noticed and asked him what was wrong.
he proceeded to tell me that he wasnt accusing me, or anything, but that if he found out that i was screwing around on him, it was over...
i can completely understand where he's coming from.
we just had this really long, drawn out, serious conversation...
its really wierd, ive never had a conversation with someone like that before.
were getting really serious...hes planning a future...what am i supposed to do?
IM SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD
he says "i know im really young and everything, but i really think youre the one for me."
IS IT TOO SOON?
AM I BEING STUPID?
AM I BEING IRRESPONSIBLE?
im not exactly sure what to say to him lately.
yeah...ive screwed around ok?
we've only been together for less than two months and ive screwed around...
he says he thinks we were "unofficially" together for at least a month before we really got together, and not to mention the fact that we were friends for a while before that.
im on a diet...
i started about a week ago.
im trying to eat a little healthier and lose some weight.
yesterday i ate a grilled chicken sandwich, eeeeeeeeasy mayo lettuce, tomato, pickle, and grilled onion. (no french fries, even though i work in a fast food restaraunt) then i got home and had the munchies (i wont tell you why) and felt huge after i ate like...four potato wedges, some macaroni and cheese, and some health request soup.
but that was yesterday...actually...i think i had two grilled chicken sandwiches...one for lunch, and the other on my break at 6, then i ate dinner at...after 11:30 and went to bed...i know, not good. i think im gonna start making it a rule that i dont eat anything after 9pm. unless im working graveyards, in that case i dont eat right before im going to bed. im trying to cut the fried foods completely out, and im doing good, ive slipped a little, a french fry here and there, like 3 or 4 , and today im walking to the store to get slim fast for breakfast. and fruit, and some kind of something that isnt going to kill my diet so i can start eating at home a little more, i need to cook that brocolli thats been in the freezer for weeks.
i think ive lost at least a little.
i know i need to start walking a lot more, and eating a lot less.
this morning i ate breakfast at the school, a breakfast burrito (it was little) it had like 10% the saturated fat i needed for the day...
based on a 2000 calorie a day diet anyway.
i was probably up to 4000 or 5000 a day.
ive cut out cheese for the most part (some every now and then...like once a week) all fried foods, sweets, sugar, regular sodas (strictly diet sodas, milk, juice, and water), i dont do cheese burgers, french fries, chicken strips, hashbrowns, sausage or bacon, basically anything they serve at whataburger (the place i work at ) except the grilled chicken sandwiches, grilled chicken wraps, and grilled chicken salads (they actually are pretty good with grilled onions).
im learning how to be hungry...i think thats alright though.
ok...
i think im done writing for today.

<3

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