so this really sucks.
i told dylon i needed a break from him...but im changing my mind. yes, i want to date two guys at the same time without them knowing about one another.
one is sweet, and adorable, and nice...and we dont do much but sit around and make out...and he's close enough to touch, but hes also 16, and no, i dont see a future with him. but he's making me happy right now.
and then there's dylon...the one person who has my entire heart. he's smart, and sexy, and open minded, and the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. he's more my age (19) and i know im in love with him. but ever since i told him i wanted a break he hasnt spoken to me. i miss him so much. he's mad at me, i know. i called him last night but he didnt answer. and he doesnt text me anymore like he used to. i miss it. i wish i never would have told him that i wanted a break. what was i thinking? oh, right...i wasnt.
i was under the influence.
something he told me he never wanted me to do again.
i have to stop.
sometimes being with mathew is like babysitting. i mean...he's just 16 after all.
anyway, ive been so caught up with this whole thing that my mom says that she hasnt seen me eat in 3 days.
and she's right, i haven't eaten...i cant think about food right now.
one more thing to make my stomach churn...
and not to mention, on top of all of this drama and mess, i started my period!
mother nature is a bitch.
now, the boyfriend i have purely for physical reasons wont even have sex with me because im on my period.
so what's his purpose?
oh, yeah...he is an amazing kisser...
but he wont kiss me in front of people...
i tried to get him to make out with me this morning in the back room of the art room, but he wouldnt.
dylon and i did everything but have sex in that room.
dylon was so open minded and kinky.
i love him...
and oh my god i miss him so much.
pray that he calls me!