Ive been feeling myself approaching a lot of changes in my life. I got my first tattoo last weekend, two daisies hugged around the words "all you need is love" and a few hearts and stars on my foot. It hurt a lot less than i was expecting, but it still hurt like hell. The same weekend i dyed my hair for the first time in more than six years, bleached the dark brown blonde on the bottom layers, and darkened the top layers to black. I feel myself changing and i feel like i should change my look to match. Every day is a new day, and this morning i woke up at six thirty, after a night of drinking and partying with some of my closest friends, and decided that i will not be the same person i have spent the last two and a half years of my life being. i will be the girl that Dennis deserves. The girl he wants to take out and show off. It is almost noon and i have had nothing but a large cup of coffee and a glass of diet coke. i will probably drink a cappuccino slim fast shake and eat a few baby carrots for lunch just to keep my metabolism up, and then hold out for dinner. a few pieces of baked chicken breast and some steamed veggies. living with a man that inhales half a gallon of ice cream, or two or three double cheeseburgers at a time can be challenging for a girl...in my position. not to mention my uncle, who is staying with us for now, keeps bringing home things like hot wings, and candy. the dieting thing was much much easier when it was just me and my blind mother, who couldnt tell if i hadnt eaten in three days. i have to do this for myself though. and when i do, i will get another tattoo. the words quod me nutrit, me destruit accross the bottom of my stomach, to remind me every time i look in the mirrior exactly what i am working so hard for. i will smoke when i am hungry, i will drink water when i feel a binge coming on. i will not let this get in my way of happiness anymore. it stops today ladies. i promise.
water fast tomorrow. to get rid of some of the bloat.
exercise classes next week :)