Monday, December 1, 2008

i hate thanksgiving...holidays in general actually.

we actually went to IHOP for thanksgiving dinner, dont feel bad for me, i dont feel bad for myself. i got a huge omelet covered in cheese, and me and my mom sat and talked and the waitress was really nice. that night me and mark were ok. he was telling me that i was his best friend, and that he loved me, but then he said something about maybe taking things a little further with ashely, the nanny he's been trying to get with since he hired her, and i got jealous. i screwed up and told him how i really feel and yesterday he said that he doesnt know if he'll ever talk to me again. he said that he thinks it feels like the right thing to do. he says that he thinks that we need space away from each other. i hope he doesnt mean forever. i need my space from him, true, and it hasnt been as hard as i thought it would be to forget about it. im still in a lot of pain, and im close to tears even now that im thinking about it, but ill be ok i think. maybe we'll talk again.
until then, im going to wish him good luck with everything.
even though i kind of hate him for hurting me.
"i no longer love her, but how i loved her, how could one not have loved her great still eyes?"

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