at the library hoping no one is looking over my shoulder,
just want to thank you all for your support.
fell off my wagon and felt like shit for a couple of days.
but im back on now.
i looked at myself in the mirrior today and smiled for the first time in forever...
and i smiled.
i can feel hipbones,
and my face is so much thinner,
im so sick of being the one with the chubby cheeks.
im not that girl anymore.
and i owe it all to ana.
i ate an apple with about a tablespoon of peanutbutter today.
so that i would have the energy to walk here
its a pretty long walk.
been smoking cigarettes and drinking water to control my cravings.
i feel amazing and...clean today
i love it.
i can feel my stomach getting flatter, and my ribcage starting to show a little.
this is an amazing feeling.
people look when i walk past them
and i like that.
my boyfriend smiled when i was walking around in my bra this morning, looking for a shirt to go with my pants
i turned to him "what's that big smile for?"
he shrugged his shoulders..."nothing. i was just thinking that i have the most beautiful girlfriend in the entire world."
he was definately rewarded for that compliment.
i hear sex burns calories anyway.
im finally happy for the first time since i can remember
why would i screw it up by eating?