Monday, January 5, 2009

back to "normal''...?

been eating like a pig for days now.
cant stop
want to stop
i know im gaining weight
back at school feeling like complete shit
ready to just crawl into my little hole and die there
almost out of money
cant find a job
eating CONSTANTLY
up to 800 cals a day almost
i feel like a cow
when does the circle end?
i feel like ive been going round and round and round for days now
eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep.
no purge
no purge
no restriction
no willpower
no hope
no hope
no purge
no restriction
stop eating
stop
stop
stop
ready for it to end now
ready for everyone to understand that im not comfortable in my own skin
want to crawl out of my skin
want someone elses skin
want my own skin, minus all the fat underneath it
no exercise
nothing
what the hell is wrong with me?
im hoping that being back at school and staying busy will help me some
have to kill the appetite
any help would be appreciated.

1 comment:

  1. dont feel disheartened... 800 cals is still a loss, just an incremental one. Beating yourself up only makes it harder to get it back. WHICH YOU WILL.

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